The Columbus prosecutor has a knack for coming up with memorable fugitive nicknames

The Columbus prosecutor has a knack for coming up with memorable fugitive nicknames

The peculiar genius of Bill Hedrick was on display recently. In an Oct. 4 press release, the chief of staff for Columbus City Attorney Rick Pfeiffer introduced the world to the "Demolition Derby Derelict," a 24-year-old reckless driver accused of causing three hit-and-run crashes over a 30-minute period. For the past five years, Hedrick-with help from Mark Rutkus, Pfeiffer's executive assistant-has been coming up with memorable media-friendly nicknames for small-time fugitives from justice. We rate Hedrick's handiwork.

Red-Headed Thief

October 2011

Creativity: 1

Accuracy: 10

Media Catnip: 0

Not one of Hedrick's proudest achievements. "Some of the first ones were pretty terrible," he says.

Soda Pop Swindler

May 2014

Creativity: 5

Accuracy: 8

Media Catnip: 5

Bonus points for the line "eight-day carbonated crime spree" in the press release

The Braveheart Bandit

January 2015

Creativity: 9

Accuracy: 5

Media Catnip: 9

The fugitive's blue facial tattoo inspired this nickname. "That's one of my babies," Hedrick says.

Paleo Diet Pilferer

November 2015

Creativity: 8

Accuracy: 4

Media Catnip: 7

Fugitives aren't always fond of their nicknames. "The Paleo Diet Pilferer has been known to tell people, 'No, that's not my name. I'm just the Meat Thief,'" Hedrick says.

Downton Abbey Addict

November 2015

Creativity: 10

Accuracy: 1

Media Catnip: 10

Hedrick'sMasterpiece Theatre-inspired masterpiece-picked up by the likes ofVanity Fairand the Daily Beast-required some creative license. Branden Joseph Deel was accused of stealing plenty of other DVDs along with boxed sets of the British costume drama. "I'm sure he has no idea who a single character is on the show," Hedrick admits.