The List: Top ten weird soda pops
When most people grab a soda pop, it’s one of the usual suspects like Coke, Mountain Dew or Pepsi. But there are actually a ton of weird flavors out there. (One even uses hentai porn for its deplorable namesake, so we left it out.) Here’s a rundown of 10 of the weirdest soda pops out there, using only the most scientific methods.
The official diet soda of Studio 54 … because people doing cocaine need to stay hydrated while not ingesting any calories.
9. Jones Soda Co. Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda
The Jones Soda Co. had previously produced a number of weird limited-edition sodas (Mashed Potato and Turkey & Gravy sodas for their Holiday Pack) that have since been retired — shocker. At least the PB&J version still exists, to the delight of seven year olds everywhere.
8. Ski Pop
It’s basically a poor man’s Surge that people in Vinton County feed to their chickens. We wish we were making that up.
7. Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray
This celery-flavored soda pop is popular in New York City delicatessens, but we can’t figure out why. What does celery soda pop taste like? Celery, therefore nothing.
6. Lester’s Fixins
Like Jones Soda, Lester’s Fixins (from Rocket Fizz Brand Sodas) has some really weird flavors — and these are still available! So if you ever get that craving for Ranch Dressing or Buffalo Wing soda pop, or both at the same time — whaaat?! mind blown — it’s out there.
5. LIVE Soda Kombucha
Mmm snot-flavored soda pop.
4. Faygo Cotton Candy
The non-official drink of Juggalos comes in a plethora of flavors, ranging from run-of-the-mill cola, to game-changers like Strawberry-Watermelon. But the crown jewel in the line-up is, of course, Cotton Candy. It’s like bottled stripper sweat.
3. Dr. Pepper 10
Ah, the most misogynist of all the soda pops.
We don’t know what it tastes like, but it certainly seemed like “a ‘party’ in every bottle.” #communismpuns
1. Placenta Soda
The real question is if it is made with actual placenta, or if it’s placenta-flavored. I guess we’ll have to ask Mayim Bialik, who actually ingested her after-birth. Blossom: weigh in!