The List: Top ten weird soda pops

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

When most people grab a soda pop, it’s one of the usual suspects like Coke, Mountain Dew or Pepsi. But there are actually a ton of weird flavors out there. (One even uses hentai porn for its deplorable namesake, so we left it out.) Here’s a rundown of 10 of the weirdest soda pops out there, using only the most scientific methods.

10. Tab

The official diet soda of Studio 54 … because people doing cocaine need to stay hydrated while not ingesting any calories.

9. Jones Soda Co. Peanut Butter and Jelly Soda

The Jones Soda Co. had previously produced a number of weird limited-edition sodas (Mashed Potato and Turkey & Gravy sodas for their Holiday Pack) that have since been retired — shocker. At least the PB&J version still exists, to the delight of seven year olds everywhere.

8. Ski Pop

It’s basically a poor man’s Surge that people in Vinton County feed to their chickens. We wish we were making that up.

7. Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray

This celery-flavored soda pop is popular in New York City delicatessens, but we can’t figure out why. What does celery soda pop taste like? Celery, therefore nothing.

6. Lester’s Fixins

Like Jones Soda, Lester’s Fixins (from Rocket Fizz Brand Sodas) has some really weird flavors — and these are still available! So if you ever get that craving for Ranch Dressing or Buffalo Wing soda pop, or both at the same time — whaaat?! mind blown — it’s out there.

5. LIVE Soda Kombucha

Mmm snot-flavored soda pop.

4. Faygo Cotton Candy

The non-official drink of Juggalos comes in a plethora of flavors, ranging from run-of-the-mill cola, to game-changers like Strawberry-Watermelon. But the crown jewel in the line-up is, of course, Cotton Candy. It’s like bottled stripper sweat.

3. Dr. Pepper 10

Ah, the most misogynist of all the soda pops.

2. Leninade

We don’t know what it tastes like, but it certainly seemed like “a ‘party’ in every bottle.” #communismpuns

1. Placenta Soda

The real question is if it is made with actual placenta, or if it’s placenta-flavored. I guess we’ll have to ask Mayim Bialik, who actually ingested her after-birth. Blossom: weigh in!