The List: Monsters, ranked

Andy Downing
"Monsters, Inc."

It's Halloween season, so what better time to take a look at the monsters in our midst? Here they are, ranked in ascending order.

Monster Cable

Do you need to connect two pieces of tech and have way too much money to burn?

Monster Energy Drink

I don't *think* it's toxic, but the science is still out on it. (Editor's Note: The science is in no way still out on it.)

Bobby Pickett's “Monster Mash”

It was a graveyard smash.

I've never used the site, but at least I'm not constantly getting junk e-mail from people hoping to link up with me.


On the whole, this 2003 film hasn't aged incredibly well, but Charlize Theron's jarring performance in the lead role still holds up.

“The Monster” by Eminem (featuring Rihanna)

The Detroit rapper goes “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” on this the-monster-was-me-the-whole-time tale, which sports an undeniable, stadium-sized Rihanna hook.

The Monstars

Air Jordan or no, these brutes still had no business losing to a team of Looney Tunes.

Kanye West's “Monster”

Everyone (rightly) celebrates Nicki Minaj's verse, but the song still gets docked slightly for Jay-Z going all “Harlan Pepper naming nuts” on his contribution, blandly checking off every monster that enters his brain.

Cleveland Monsters

The Blue Jackets American Hockey League affiliate won its first Calder Cup championship in 2016. Here's hoping big brother can follow suit.

Monster Jam

There are few things more American than watching giant cars squash smaller cars.

“Monsters, Inc.”

Even a mid-tier Pixar movie is still good enough to top this list, which speaks to the studio's knack for turning out quality* films.

* The “Cars” franchise excluded