The List: Top 10 bald dudes

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

We love bald dudes. Some are funny. Some are sophisticated and respected. And sometimes they’re just downright evil. Here’s a rundown of Alive’s favorite baldies, everything from rogues and fools to superhuman athletes and inspirational figures.

10. George Costanza

Going bald can make a guy neurotic. Jerry Seinfeld's sidekick didn't have far to go.

9. Bruce Willis

Wills proved bald dudes could be tough in the ’80s with “Die Hard”—when muscle-bound behemoths like Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were dominating the action genre. Willis further cemented his badass-ness as bald palooka Butch in “Pulp Fiction.”

8. Patrick Stewart

Stewart always lends an aura of dignity to his roles, whether it’s Professor X or Captain Jean-Luc Picard, and we can’t help but think his distinguished dome has something to do with.

7. Elton John

We love you, Elton, but we also saw your hairline in the '70s. That's a wig, baby.

6. Lord Voldemort

We sometimes wish we were so evil that people refused to say our name out loud.

5. The Dalai Lama

The path to enlightenment apparently doesn't require hair. Bonus points for hanging with the Beastie Boys.

4. Louis C.K.

C.K. is the most genius and hilarious comedian of this generation. That his career truly reached fruition after he started rocking the redhead stadium fro can’t be coincidence.

3. Walter White

The machinations running through Heisenberg’s bald head make him the most fearedmember of this list. Bonus points for being the most formidable bald guy on a show full of them.

2. Homer Simpson

There are no more iconic two wisps and a squiggle in the world.

1. Michael Jordan

LeBron wishes he was Michael Jordan. That’s why he’s losing his hair. Tell him to get four more rings and we'll talk.