The List: Ranking the flyover states

Andy Downing

Bottom 10

10. West Virginia

Pros: A stunning landscape, great hiking and whitewater rafting. Cons: Nearly elected a racist coal baron in the Republican primary.

9. Kentucky

The best bourbon, but also home to the Creation Museum.

8. Nebraska

*“Wayne's World” we're-in-Delaware voice* Hi. We're in Nebraska.

7/6. South Dakota/North Dakota

Never has a north-south state designation meant so little.

5. Arkansas

Stay away from the Ozarks, man.

4. Oklahoma

Do you like tornadoes? Because, on average, a dozen tornadoes form in April alone in this windswept hellscape. Also docked for inspiring a garbage musical.

3. Indiana

I actually like Indianapolis (Milktooth is legit for breakfasts, and we had a great dinner at Bluebeard), but anyone who has driven from Columbus to Chicago has learned to loathe this state.

2. Arizona

It's scorched-earth hotanddeeply racist.

1. Kansas

Dorothy: “Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.”

Toto (speaking for the first-ever time): “Thank f*cking God.”

Top 10

10. Iowa

Des Moines is sneaky cool, vaulting this corn-strewn state into our top 10.

9. Missouri

Sure, St. Louis has its perks, but Kansas City is the state's secret weapon.

8. Utah

Great skiing, plus 42 state parks and five national parks make this mountainous state an outdoorsperson's dream.

7. Wyoming

Beautiful landscapes … and not much else, which makes this state the ideal escape.

6. Ohio

Maybe we judge the things we love more harshly? I'm also docking us because we're responsible for John Boehner ever having power.

5. Illinois

Probably gets too much credit because of Chicago. (Seriously, name something else in the state worth visiting.)

4. Minnesota

This one might rank higher if it weren't for a brutal winter that can stretch from October through early May. Minneapolis is a gem.

3. Colorado

Staggering mountain views and legal weed are tough to top.

2. Wisconsin

Colorado should probably be slotted here, but I have a soft spot for Wisconsin having lived in Madison for two years. The fact I can still rank it this high with a corporate wanker like Scott Walker in power speaks to how much I enjoyed my time there.

1. Michigan

Yeah, yeah. Eff *ichigan, or whatever else Buckeye fans might want to say here. But let's face it, the state has a bit of everything, including interesting cities (Detroit rules), gorgeous nature retreats (the Upper Peninsula), great craft beer and on and on.