Ranking the ugly sweater holiday parties currently clogging Facebook events
Are you hosting an ugly sweater event this holiday season? No?! Congrats! You’re the only one in the city who isn’t. Or at least that’s how it appeared scrolling through the Facebook events tab recently. Here’s a list of select pre-Christmas ugly sweater events, ranked from worst to best by the overall concept and execution of the event page.
Alternate title: The Nipple Chafe 5k.
Open mic events can be rough enough without the exposure to gaudy holiday garb.
You have to crawl before you can fun run.
I loathe networking.
Can’t we just party? Why is everything a contest with you?
All of these spots went with the generic “ugly sweater party” tag, so I’m just going to show up in the crème-colored number my mom bought me to wear atop a red turtleneck for the fifth grade school musical, since the holiday season means nothing to these businesses.
Separated from the pack only because it fits the #brand.
Now that’s more like it.
Bonus points for the enthusiasm.
Bonus points for the wine.
Wait, is the nog also ugly?
Sweaters and ice hockey feel like a natural pair.
This might have topped the list when I was 22.
One time my sister fell and hit her head rollerskating a few days after Christmas, and the concussion was so bad that the entire holiday was wiped from her memory.
Everything is better with dogs, even ugly sweaters.