The List: Predicting questions Jim Jordan will try to answer on the January 6 committee

Imagining the circus that will ensue if the Ohio politician is handed the gavel

Alive staff
Rep. Jim Jordan, R-Ohio, questions Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein as he and FBI Director Christopher Wray appear before a House Judiciary Committee hearing on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, June 28, 2018, on Justice Department and FBI actions around the 2016 presidential election. (AP Photo/Andrew Harnik)

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy selected five Republicans to join the committee investigating the insurrection of January 6, ensuring that Republicans will have input in the Democrat-led investigation.

The five white men selected by McCarthy represent the full diversity of the Republican Party (complete with two Jims!) and include Reps. Jim Banks of Indiana, Rodney Davis of Illinois, Kelly Armstrong of North Dakota, Troy Nehls of Texas and, of course, Ohio’s own Jim Jordan. Of those McCarthy put forth for the committee, three — Banks, Jordan and Nehls — were among the 139 House Republicans who voted to overturn the 2020 presidential results in Arizona and Pennsylvania. Banks and Jordan were also part of a group of Republicans who signed onto the Texas lawsuit that sought to invalidate the ballots of millions of voters in four battleground states. The lawsuit was blocked by the Supreme Court. 

Under the House resolution, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi appointed eight members to the committee, while McCarthy has five slots “in consultation,” meaning that Pelosi could veto any or all of those selected. If she doesn’t, we imagine Jordan will work as hard to derail this commission as he did during previous impeachment attempts against Trump. 

Here are some of the questions for which Jordan will likely push to get answers.

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

Why aren’t people allowed to say merry Christmas anymore? No, I don't care that it's July.

You guys ever get that thing where your eye twitches at the corner for like an hour and then it goes away?

Does anyone else think it’s weird that you can’t spell t-r-i-u-m-p-h without t-r-u-m-p?

Why are people still dying of COVID-19 when we have done everything in our power to make people doubt the efficacy of every tool (masking, vaccinations) designed to protect them from the illness?

Jordan slowly repeats the words “critical race theory” until he is called for time.

How much can you bench?

Isn’t it true that rioters didn’t chant “Hang Mike Pence!” on Jan. 6 but actually chanted “Hang with Mike Pence!” in an effort to grow closer with the former VP?

Can anyone explain that “Loki” ending to me?

Why is America so great?

Wait, so who is Kang the Conqueror then?

If Josh Mandel wins, do I have to hang out with him?

How come nobody is talking about how the Democrats are actually to blame for January 6?

Hold on, let’s go back a minute. So Loki is stuck in an altered time loop?

Why do people keep saying I ignored former Ohio State doctor Richard Strauss' sexual abuse of wrestlers at Ohio State? I was only the assistant wrestling coach.

Who is the greatest rocker of all time, and why is it Ted Nugent?

OK, I think I’m starting to get this. But how does the multiverse unfold from here? And what impact will the events of “Loki” have on the coming Doctor Strange film, if any at all?

What am I doing on this committee but for the fact that my presence alone serves to make a complete mockery of the proceedings?

Wait, so we could be moving toward a Marvel future where we see Tobey Maguire, Andrew Garfield and Tom Holland all in the same Spider-Man film?

Is it me or have these proceedings gone exactly as Q foretold?

One more Spider-Man multiverse question: Will it also be an origin story? I think there's some meat left on that bone. With great power, am I right?

Hey, who wants to watch me arm wrestle the other Jim?