Movie review: Sorority Row

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

For the first five minutes of last night's screening of "Sorority Row," a technical malfunction claimed the theater's sound, leaving an audience watching a bizarrely silent sexy sorority girl pajama party, trying to lip-read dialogue and tossing out "Mystery Science Theater"-style remarks at the screen.

It was, easily, the best five minutes of the film.

I am no stranger to the sweet cheesy pleasures of a B horror movie. I can appreciate the realm of so-bad-it's-good. I can appreciate dumb plotless slasher fun, all gore and boobs and quotable one-liners. I found little such joy here. And yes, there were boobs.

Let's start with the cast. There's Bruce Willis' daughter! The dumb chick from "The Hills"! The daughter of the dude from "My Two Dads"! No, not Paul Reiser, the other one! And even Princess Leia! OK, that's one's pretty cool, but still.

And now, the plot. A prank goes awry. A sorority girl dies, and her sisters decide to cover up her death. But then strange things happen, as they often do in this sort of movie. Unintentional hilarity ensues.

That "Sorority Row" is an awful movie probably isn't much of a revelation, but there was potential. After a butt-numbing hour-plus of trying to be a real thriller, it finally settles into some of the great "Heathers" black comedy ideas that were there all along, but it's far too late.

For a much better execution of this idea, see the recent remake of "Black Christmas." I pledge to not give movies this bad the benefit of the doubt anymore.

"Sorority Row"

Opens Friday

Grade: D+