Pick-up Artist: Hellas Grill Express
There was precious little about the exterior trappings of Hellas Grill Express to suggest it'd ever be a restaurant worth recommending.
Aside from a Greek-themed awning, I'd say "humble-looking" almost seemed too kind to describe the outside of this tinier-than-tiny shop attached to a Grandview carryout and occupying the former Cowtown Pizza space.
Inside, the nondescript three-tabled joint is the opposite of accommodating. There's only a few non-sequitur posters (promoting the city of Paris and the movie Reservoir Dogs) providing puzzling clues to Hellas' identity or otherwise giving diners anything to gaze upon apart from the non-view of the teeny kitchen, which is obscured by towers of empty pizza boxes and other "to-go" accoutrements.
Not even the little menu - which mixes casual-Greek-eatery standbys in with wings, submarine sandwiches and generic bar-noshing fried things - inspired much confidence.
By now, you're probably thinking the setup of this article must inevitably result in a place I unexpectedly liked, right? Well, Hellas yeah!
In fact, I think the quality of Hellas' Greek grub is about as good as the lunchy stuff served at many of its top-shelf brothers, only Hellas has rock-bottom low prices. (Speaking of brothers, Hellas is operated by Moses Velio, sibling to local restaurateur Jimmy V.)
This makes Hellas one of the better Greek takeout options around - and I emphasize Greek because the non-Hellenic options are rather run-of-the-mill.
• Spanikopita ($2.50) A warm, surprisingly large, really buttery, really flaky and hard-to-stop-munching spinach pie with several layers of crispy pastry packed with a fragrant, leafy filling.
• Twisted Feta ($4) This spikily spicy, herby and very garlicky "kopanisti"-like feta cheese dip was over-the-top and top-notch.
• Hummus ($4) Straight ahead and very solid. The dense and medium-coarse no-B.S. dip tasted of carefully seasoned garbanzo beans.
• Dolmathes ($4) Terrific. Four warm, plump grape-leaf bundles jammed with rice and a juicy ground beef mix were covered in a dill-flecked avgolemono sauce.
• Greek gyro ($5) Huge and seriously over-crammed with good meat plus all the expected salady trimmings and a creamy garlicky dressing. Definitely far above average.
• Chicken gyro ($5) As impressive and overstuffed as the Greek gyro, but made with kebab-like grilled chunks of oregano-smitten chicken.
• French fries ($1.50) Nothing special.
• Greek Salad ($3.75/$5) Crunchy and fresh with all the requisite ingredients (and of good quality).
• Greek Favorite Pizza ($14) I liked the flavors of baked gyro meat, green olive, feta, onions and tomatoes on the pizza, but the crust tasted bready and pre-fab.
• Baklava (2.50) Big, well-made, cinnamony and nutty, and an excellent value.
• Kataifi ($2.50) A nutty, shredded-wheat delight and a steal at this price.
Boxed and Bagged
Hellas Grill Express' carryout performance
Percentage of orders correct: 100
Time promised: 20 minutes
Time ready: When I arrived after 15 minutes
Good to go?: Hellas employs an arsenal of appropriate containers for its various foodstuffs. And Hellas got everything correct on a particularly large, somewhat complicated order, even making the effort to phone me when the food was ready prior to the time promised.
E-mail food news and dining tips to gbenton@columbusalive.com
Hellas Grill Express
1333 Northwest Blvd., Grandview
614-481-4040