The Kid's Gonna Be All Right

Kristy Eckert

If I could freeze my little man at 5, I would. We've never laughed harder or more often.

To share the love (because I think I heard from more people about this column last year than any other), here are Cooper's 2015 Top 10 Quotes of the Year:

10. "She's actuallya lot hot."

-Coop, clarifying his original "She's pretty hot" comment about Katy Perry

9. "No, it's not. Milkshakes are."

-Coop, responding to Daddy saying, "Fantasy football is the most important thing in my life."

8. "If he changes his whole life to good, then he can come over for a play date."

-Coop, on his apparently sky-high standards for friends

7. "Disney World. Chicago. Hawaii. And Rehoboth Beach."

-Coop, naming the states other than Ohio that he knows (and proving we are apparently not teaching enough social studies at home)

6. "I'm rollin'. I'm rollin'. I'm rollin' like a MAN!"

-Coop, celebrating a flush in poker*

5. "Momma, I know we're rich in love. But I want to be rich in money, too."

-Coop, after learning the piggy bank change he offered to give Flying Horse Farms totaled $118, then deciding he was keeping half for himself

4. "I hate to tell you this, Momma, but there's a bean in my ear."

-Coop, three days after putting it there**

3. "Because I wanted to see if it would go into my brain and through my body and I'd poop it out."

-Coop, on why he put the bean in his ear

2. "Sometimes I have this problem with milk and water. It's saying, 'I want to come out of your nose!' And I have to hold my nose so it goes down my throat instead."

-Coop, on eating challenges

1. "What - do you want me to be lonelyforever?!?"

-Coop, after Momma told him he doesn't need a girlfriend just yet

* No, we're not exactly winning any parent of the year contests. Sorry, Momma and Daddy both hail from card families. You can't fight blood.

**Water makes uncooked beans expand. Three days, people. Three. Days. Thankfully our pediatrician is a genius with crocodile forceps.

-Kristy Eckert is a Powell mom and the Chief Communication Officer at Flying Horse Farms, a camp in Mount Gilead that provides magical experiences for children with serious illnesses.