Alternative fireworks soundtrack

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

Is any music montage more predictable than the soundtrack to Independence Day fireworks? Not all of the usual suspects are awful - in fact, most of them are quite good - but the same old tunes are getting pretty tired. Why not add some flair to the rockets' red glare and throw in a few wild cards this year? Here are some humble song suggestions to ponder as you wait for Red, White & Boom! to light up the sky over Columbus.

Instead of: Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A."

Consider using: "America, F--- Yeah!" from Team America: World Police

Why?: There's more than one way to express your love for this great nation

Instead of: Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the U.S.A."

Consider using: Metallica's "One"

Why?: Both tell of embittered, disenfranchised veterans, but Metallica's is more spectacular alongside explosions

Instead of: Europe's "The Final Countdown"

Consider using: America's "You Can Do Magic"

Why?: The rationale should be clear

Instead of: Toby Keith's "Angry American"

Consider using: Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land"

Why?: Because the Fourth of July is about pumping the positivity

Instead of: Irving Berlin's "God Bless America"

Consider using: John Ashcroft's "Let the Eagle Soar"

Why?: "This country's far too young to die/ We've still got a lot of climbin' to do"

Instead of: Ray Charles' "America the Beautiful"

Consider using: Ray Charles' "America the Beautiful"

Why?: On second thought, we wouldn't want fireworks without Ray

Instead of: Whichever pop song is ruling the charts ("Boom Boom Pow"?)

Consider using: Animal Collective's "Fireworks"

Why?: For the look of confusion on 99 percent of spectators' faces

Instead of: Neil Diamond's "America"

Consider using: Chuck Berry's "Back in the U.S.A."

Why?: There's an extreme disparity in exposure for these two tunes about landing on American shores

Instead of: John Mellencamp's "R-O-C-K in the U.S.A."

Consider using: John Mellencamp's "This Is Our Country"

Why?: Both songs are patriotic, but the Cougar's car commercial jingle is hilariously campy

Instead of: Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture"

Consider using: Explosions in the Sky's Friday Night Lights theme, "Your Hand in Mine"

Why?: The overture is undeniably great fireworks fare, but must we rely on a Russian to commemorate America's birth? "Your Hand" is homegrown and nearly as epic

What do you think? Offer your own song suggestions below.

What: Red, White & Boom!

When: Friday, July 3

Where: Downtown Columbus