The Daily Show: The Rogue Warrior

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

I remember the buzz around Joe Lieberman's 2001 memoir, Dreams From My Rabbi: The Audacity of Droop. For instance, there was this telling excerpt from chapter four: "If you think I'm unpopular now, just wait eight years."

Palin is making the publicity rounds everywhere, and not just on friendly turf like Hannity, O'Reilly, Greta and Limbaugh - she's challenged herself.

"She's taking a very bold move, especially going on Oprah, into the lion's den," said Fox News contributor Peter Johnson Jr.

Actually, it does take tremendous courage for someone with a book to sell to go on Oprah. After all, you risk selling all your books and then all you're left with is money.

Even the news networks that didn't get access to Palin couldn't stop talking about her. During MSNBC's "Palinpalooza" segment, they even showed those Photoshopped bikini pictures that got passed around during the campaign and are, of course, fake. Since MSNBC is a news network, I thought they would've already known that.

But here's MSNBC's Dylan Ratigan, backpedaling: "I want to apologize to Governor Palin and to all our viewers on Friday. Our staff mistakenly used some clearly Photoshopped images of Ms. Palin without any acknowledgement ... we spent the weekend and Friday afternoon taking measures to make sure it will never happen again."

It took you the weekend and Friday afternoon to make sure it doesn't happen again? Isn't that, like, a 10-second conversation? Hey, everyone, don't use that fake s---, this is a news show.

What is it about Sarah Palin that makes the right in this country feel as though they've been sprinkled with angel dust and the left feel as though they've smoked something laced with angel dust?

"She shoots things, she's from Alaska," said Fox Business Network's Stuart Varney.

I think you'd like to believe those are the reasons people don't like her or think she's not suited to run the country. But I have another theory that has nothing to do with her Alaska-shooty-prettiness. That's actually my favorite part of her.

What don't I like about her? It's that when you peel back the pretty-shooty layers of the Palin onion, there's no onion. It's just a conservative boilerplate Mad Lib. Freedom is good and taxes are...oh, I need an 'bout, I don't know, silly?

The worst part is that it's a Mad Lib delivered as though it were the hard-earned wisdom of a life well-lived. The glee, the boasting about your straight-shooting when you're just a talking-point machine.

But that can't be why I don't trust her. It must be something wrong with me, right Bernie Goldberg?

"When she was put on the ticket, a disease broke out in liberal America, Palin Derangement Syndrome ... she has five kids, liberals don't have five kids. One of them has Down's syndrome, liberals certainly don't allow that to happen," Goldberg said.

No, you're right, Bernie. Liberals don't have a lot of kids or like Down's syndrome. In fact, Eunice Kennedy Shriver, one of nine Kennedy children, founded the Special Olympics because she wanted an organized forum where she could mock children with Down's syndrome.

Of course, the Special Olympics is to winners as Fox News is to experts - if you show up, you are one.

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