The Daily Show: Cable network blues

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

CNN used to be one of the giants in the cable news industry, but it's fallen on tough times of late.

Hosts of their most popular shows have lost almost half their viewers over the last year. The bottom line is CNN has got to get in the game, man.

There's a couple things they could do to get back to the top. They could go partisan, like their brethren at MSNBC or Fox News, by getting themselves a Glenn Olberbeck or a Sean Hannidow.

Or they could exercise some editorial authority and integrity, and start breaking apart the entire right-left politico journalist symbiotic paradigm. Lead a new generation of truth-seekers on an anti-talking-point jihad.

Or, they could just throw a bunch of random bloggers on air and see what happens.

Then they could hire the guy who says this: "You know, the irony here is that Obama's unicorn of hope and change is dying under Ted Kennedy," said blogger Eric Erickson. "If Ted Kennedy had decided to resign or retire when he found out how bad his health was, instead of being a martyr for the cause, the Democrats wouldn't be in this position."

Hey, let's zoom in on that guy who just kicked Ted Kennedy when he was dead. I like the cut of his jib. We could use that guy to make James Carville seem human.

Yes, Erickson's a blogger whose incendiary political commentary has just won him a job on CNN for no apparent reason.

Of course, like most new hires, CNN vetted him thoroughly ... after the fact. They had Howard Kurtz, host of "Reliable Source," ask Erickson about some of his controversial posts.

"On the administration's health care spokeswoman, you wrote, 'Linda Douglas is really the Joseph Goebbels of the White House health care shop.' You're comparing her to a notorious Nazi?" asked Kurtz.

"I probably shouldn't have said that," replied Erickson.

Probably? He doesn't want to definitively say that she wasn't a Nazi, but he's leaning that way? Go on.

"You wrote the following, 'Is Obama shagging hookers behind the media's back? I assume not. I assume that Obama's Marxist harpy wife would go Lorena Bobbit on him should he even think about it,'" said Kurtz.

Erickson responded, "Since that time, I've really learned ... I don't have to get personal in blogging to make my point."

Really, that's what you learned? You believe you could have made your point - that the president of the United States is faithful because he fears the first lady will cut off his penis and then, I guess, redistribute it to the poor - in a less personal way? Point taken.

"When Justice Souter announced his retirement, you wrote, 'The nation loses the only goat [expletive] child molester ever to serve on the Supreme Court.' Do you regret writing that?" asked Kurtz.

"It was about the dumbest thing I've done," said Erickson.

You're hired!

CNN, what are you doing? Only CNN could hire a guy whose entire resume is incendiary partisan rhetoric and then act like that's the part of him they don't like.

CNN's like the guy at the strip club who says, "I'm gonna hang out, but I'm not getting a lap dance. I'm here for the buffet."

I guess that explains their new slogan - "CNN: we have no idea what the hell we're doing."

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