The Daily Show: Muslims in Space

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

I was watching Al Jazeera the other day, and I saw NASA administrator Charles Bolden talking about the space program's outreach goals.

He said President Obama charged him with expanding international relationships and finding a way to reach out to the Muslim world.

What seemed to be an innocuous and bland statement of broad PR goals turned into a firestorm of anger from conservatives.

"The president has taken what was once one of the great American programs and turned it upside its head," said Sean Hannity.

I have to admit, the conservative network makes a good point. What kind of presidential a-hole would use the space program to build a bridge to peace?

"We can find as yet undiscovered avenues where Americans and Soviet citizens can cooperate fruitfully for the benefit of mankind," former President Reagan said in 1985. "In science and technology, we can launch new joint space ventures."

OK, so there was that one, but he was such a liberal fartbag.

Of course, Fox isn't just concerned with Muslims in space. They're also very concerned about Muslims in the mosques.

"There's growing outrage over plans to build more mosques and Islamic centers in America," reported Fox News.

Apparently, a number of people are asking why these mosques are being built in their community. I know the answer! It's because there are Muslims who live in your community, and they can't find the prayer carpet room in the church or synagogue.

This may seem like religious prejudice, but rest assured - it is not about building mosques. It's about what goes on inside the mosques.

"Their mission is to spread Islam to be dominant in the United States," said Steven Emerson of the Investigative Project on Terrorism.

What?! One of the tenets of Islam is to spread Islam? That would be like if Christians went places and built churches to "go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit" -Matthew 28:19.

But Muslims don't just want to spread their religion. They want to make it the law of the land. Why is this such a problem? I'm pretty sure there are other religious systems that make rules for people who are outside the religion.

Can I go to your town and buy booze on Sunday to bring to Adam and Steve's wedding reception?

If the new principle is that no one should have to live by the rules of someone else's religion, I know some people who are going to be very disappointed.

Like former Ohio lawmaker John Kasich, a Republican. "Most of our laws have actually flowed from the Old Testament," Kasich said.

Adds Sarah Palin: "Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant. They're quite clear that we would create law based on the God of the Bible and the Ten Commandments."

Now I know why you don't want mosques popping up all over the place - they're competition. Damn free market!

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