The Daily Show: Crisis in Dairyland

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

In few places was the Tea Party's sweep more stunning than in Wisconsin. Voters tossed three-term progressive Democrat Russ Feingold out of the Senate, overturned Democratic majorities in the State Assembly and Senate, and, for the first time in eight years, elected a Republican governor in Scott Walker.

During his campaign, Walker said schools spend millions more than they have to for health care and that $68 million per year could be saved by letting schools get into the state health plan.

So you would imagine Wisconsinites were plenty prepared when their elected governor tried to institute his cost-saving plan.

The problem is that Walker looks to not only cut their benefits but also their collective bargaining rights, meaning he's taking away their rights to ever ask for them again.

That's not right. Take away a union's right to collective bargaining, and that makes them just a bunch of people wearing identical T-shirts. It's like telling the Packers they can't play football or telling Craigslist no adult services. It really defeats the purpose.

But I'm sure that's not what he meant while campaigning. It seemed like Walker wasn't looking to strip the union of its power. He's just looking for savings.

See, Walker says the state is broke. And while he hasn't proposed any other budget cuts, I'm sure he'll get to it.

Then Walker made his evil agenda known. When asked by Fox News whether he would be willing to let them keep their collective bargaining rights if the two sides could agree on the money issues, he flatly stated, "No."

Let me get this straight: To close Wisconsin's $3.6 billion budget gap, the union must die? I guess it would be less of a fiscal sacrifice and more of a ritual sacrifice to appease the Gods of Deficit.

So the governor elected by the people to cut costs makes his first attempt at doing so at the expense of the people he employs, which enrages them. I believe this is a recipe for the worst Christmas party ever.

Well, you'd think the 14 remaining state Senate Democrats would have a field day with this dude. But no.

"In an effort to postpone the vote, 14 state Senate Democrats fled the state," reported CBS News.

You know, when they say, "When the going gets tough, the tough get going?" I don't think it's meant to be taken literally.

And so it fell to the good people of Wisconsin to make their case through protests and chants, circa 1960.

And according to our sensationalist media, those protests in Madison are worthy of comparison to recent protests in the Middle East even though they're not the same in any freaking way. At all.

Is this the same as people overthrowing years of dictatorship? Or just the last story you saw on the news?

Next they'll say the protests in Wisconsin are reminiscent of the struggles of actor Charlie Sheen bravely fighting his addiction. That would make Gov. Walker crack.

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