The Daily Show: If the shoe fits

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

Libyans continue their effort to overthrow a tyrant, Muammar Gaddafi, who seems increasingly out of touch.

"They love me, all my people with me, they love me all. They will die to protect me, my people," Gaddafi said last week.

Uh, haven't protestors been hitting his picture in the face with shoes? Maybe he believes it's because they think it's a poor likeness or are angry about the quality of the picture.

Clearly Gaddafi doesn't hear his own people. Maybe they should hit his picture with tap shoes. Or maybe he'll listen to the international community.

"I don't believe that even his family loves him at this moment," said Ibrahim Dabbashi, Libya's deputy ambassador to the U.N. "He's certainly out of his mind. It's very important for him and his family to step down immediately."

Stern words from any international official, let alone your own country's ambassador.

He's not only risking his life, but a whole host of diplomatic immunities and parking privileges in New York City. Unfortunately Dabbashi's words didn't have any effect.

"How can I step down? What from? I have no post to step down from I don't have any position. I don't lead Libya. Libya does not have a leader or president or king. Libya is a state of the masses," Gaddafi said on Feb. 28.

Whoa, that is some existential bull! Now I know why Gaddafi wears sunglasses in all these interviews - he's really, really high.

Maybe the United Nations' suspension of Libya from its Human Rights Council will bring Gaddafi to his senses. Hold your WTF - yes, Libya was actually on the Human Rights Council.

I think they're there as a cautionary tale so when they're talking about torture and stuff somebody could just point to Libya as an example. By the way, suspended from the Human Rights Council? What would he have to do to get expelled, heads on spikes?

Well there you go, Muammar - your own people and the international community are telling you to go. You gotta know when to fold 'em, right?

"At a suitable time we will open the arms depot so all Libyans and tribes become armed, so that Libya becomes red with fire," Gaddafi said.

I guess he's going in a different direction, but to be fair, he's not all stick and no carrot. Many Libyans stood for hours outside of banks to collect a $400 handout from the regime in a desperate attempt to buy support.

This is insanity - Gaddafi is like the Ike Turner of dictators. I'm going to turn this country red with fire, bi tch! I'm sorry, baby, here's $400. G o out and buy yourself something nice. You know I get angry sometimes, baby.

You know, with $400, your people are only going to hit your picture with more expensive shoes. Manolo Blahnik says hello, you bastard!

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