The Daily Show: Tone Def Poetry Jam

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

Remember a couple of weeks ago when President Obama released his birth certificate and celebrated by having someone shoot Osama bin Laden in the face?

It felt like the events were connected and maybe we'd finally put an end to all the ginned-up, ridiculously overblown non-controversies - like the birther thing - to rest.

Well, I hope you enjoyed that period of time, because then came this: "Michelle Obama is hosting a poetry reading, and one of her guests is raising a lot of eyebrows. He's a Chicago poet and he's a rapper who goes by the stage name Common," said Martha MacCallum of Fox News.

Are we really doing this again? For Common? The guy from the Queen Latifah rom-com "Just Wright?"

"Yeah, let's invite a misogynist to the White House," Karl Rove said.

So Fox News took the time to ignore Common's entire body of work, save for one poem he wrote in 2007 that they appear to completely misunderstand.

"He's talking about popping guns and, 'I got the black strap to make the cops run. They watchin' me. I'm watchin' them," then 'when we roll together with a strapped gun, we're going to be rocking them to sleep.' That sounds like killing cops to me," said Sean Hannity while quoting Common.

Well if you enjoyed Hannity's rendition, you'll love the new album of Fox News personalities uncomfortably ruining hip-hop songs. It's called "Now That's What Those People Call Music?"

Common's lyrics that Hannity was quoting actually end on the couplet, "No time for that cause there's things to be done. Stay true to what I do so the youth dream comes."

Basically what Common appeared to be saying was, "Hey, you know that violence I was talking about earlier? Let's end that in our communities so that our dreams can come true." It's a call for peace, but Hannity makes a good point - it sounds like killing cops to him.

Maybe I'm being unfair to Fox News personalities for being angry at a musician for violent, incendiary language. Would Hannity be this angry if the musician used the same rhetoric of violence about Obama?

"I said, 'Hey, Obama! You might want to suck on one of these, you punk.' I told him to suck on my machine gun. I said, 'Hey Hillary, why don't you ride on of these into the sunset, you worthless b----," said Ted Nugent while brandishing machine guns during a concert in 2007.

So how did Hannity react to that? By saying, "That was friend and frequent guest on the program Ted Nugent expressing his feelings toward Democratic presidential contenders Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton."

And later defending the statements with, "I like Ted Nugent. He's a friend of mine."

This isn't even fun anymore. I barely even get angry anymore; I just feel sorry for you. It's impossible to express how ridiculous this and you all are at this point. You're just a caricature of your own cartoon.