The Daily Show: President Evil 2

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

The 2012 presidential election is all that stands between America and catastrophe, just as we were warned that the consequences in 2008 could be dire.

“If [Barack] Obama should become president, I really believe it will be hard to stop the economy from being socialized,” said Rep. Trent Franks, R-Arizona, back then.

We were warned, and indeed Obama did take billions of taxpayer dollars and redistribute them to the banks. So it’s kind of socialism in a dyslexic way. So what of our enemies abroad?

“If he’s elected president, al Qaeda and radical Islamists and their supporters will be dancing in the streets,” said Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa, back then.

Talk about hitting the nail on the head — if you replaced the word “dancing” with “dodging unmanned drone missiles raining hellfire from the sky.” Two for two.

In 2008, there would have been nothing you could do to defend yourself from the socialist Islamic takeover, because Obama had thought things through.

“If … Senator Obama is elected president, the rights of law-abiding gun owners will be at risk, my friends — and have no doubt about it,” said Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona, before the election.

Actually the only Second Amendment measures Obama ended up signing allowed citizens to carry concealed weapons into national parks and Amtrak trains, which makes sense. Who better to be armed than angry late people in confined spaces?

See, it appears Obama has failed to keep many of the campaign promises that his opponents made for him, including the incredibly specific ones.

“He’s going to have an effort to eliminate freedom of speech for Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity,” Newt Gingrich said then.

By now we’ve seen Obama’s first term, and it looks like the conservatives got kicked in the crystal balls on this one. You may not be thrilled with Obama’s results, but clearly this isn’t the citizen-disarming, al Qaeda-coddling, conservative-muzzling catastrophe that the Republican soothsayers were predicting. What will Republicans’ rhetorical strategy be in 2012?

“He will wage war on the Catholic Church the morning after he’s reelected,” Gingrich said. Yes, after enjoying a victory omelet, Obama will wage war on the Catholic Church.

They’ve lost their damn minds. If Obama hasn’t been able to pull this off in the first term, what do you think he’s waiting for?

The whole first term is just laying a trap, the long con. Everything he’s done in his first term is just a canard so that he can do the opposite in his second term?

Obama deported more illegal immigrants per year than President Bush did just so that the illegal immigrants could rest up in their native land for the second-term invasion?

Obama killed Osama bin Laden and dumped his body in the ocean to lull us into complacency, so we’re unaware that a zombie bin Laden is now hard at work on the ocean floor preparing a terrorist lobster army that will use your confiscated weapons to take down the Vatican on Nov. 3?