The Daily Show: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Gross

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

As you probably heard, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke testified before Congress about how she supports the government mandate for health insurers to provide contraception as part of women’s preventative health care.

She was relating to her own situation using birth control and the situation of a friend who needed it to regulate an ovarian cyst. For her efforts she was rewarded with some words from Rush Limbaugh.

“What does it say about … Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute,” Limbaugh said.

What is going through Limbaugh’s fevered mind to go from young woman trying to cover contraception to prostitute having constant sexy sex on my dime? You’d have to misunderstand so many things.

One, he seems to believe that using contraception means automatically having a ton of sex. And that contraception is something that a woman has to pay for every time she has sex. And that the woman is nevertheless financially benefitting from having all that dirty contraceptive-fueled sex.

Personally I don’t get too worked up about the things Limbaugh says because he is, and has been for many years, a terrible person. Prior to this kerfuffle, any woman concerned with women’s health, or work, or role in the world is, in Limbaugh’s eyes, a feminazi.

That’s his baseline for rhetoric. What are feminazis, exactly? Someone who would herd you onto a train to go to an Indigo Girls concert?

It’s just Rush Limbaugh. Is it particularly vile? Yes, but that’s like saying, “This is a particularly pungent bucket of raw sewage with rotting cow guts and typhoid.”

The fun part is watching the Republican presidential candidate conundrum. As humans you would expect them to quickly repudiate the calling of a private citizen whose only crime is testifying before Congress a slut or a prostitute. But as candidates …

“I am astonished at the desperation of the elite media … to suddenly decide that Rush Limbaugh is the great national crisis of this week,” Newt Gingrich said.

They too have decided that Limbaugh’s only mistake appears to be semantics, not reasoning. Why don’t they think his reasoning is wrong? Because they think the same thing.

This isn’t about paying for women to have sex; it’s about an insurance mandate from the government covering contraceptive medication as part of women’s overall health care. It’s not even your tax money that pays for it.

I’m not even going to get into your roundabout argument that somehow money is taken out of your pocket to pay for private insurance plans whose contraceptive coverage would ultimately bring insurance rates down.

I’m just saying to the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to the things they don’t like — welcome to the club! Everyone pays for stuff they don’t want to all the time. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and the diaphragms are on me.