Dead Schembechlers change name, not intensity

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

Just got word from Bo Biafra, leader of the Dead Schembechlers, that the pro-Ohio State punk band has changed its name to the Bastard Sons of Woody. Via an urgent press release, Biafra stated, "We were as shocked as anyone to learn that Woody Hayes is our genetic father. It was during the week of mass media Michigan madness that we were leaked a previously secret governmental report about our origins."

The band also plans to change the name of its show before the Big Game from the "Hate Michigan Rally" to "Woodystock."

"It's a name that we think will best rally the Ohio State faithful and honor our genetic father," Biafra wrote.

Many were expecting the name change, plans for which the band announced at a press conference in November.

When the former Michigan coach passed away just hours before the band played a rally at the Newport Nov. 17, the band began to rescind much of the vitriol it routinely slung at the Buckeye nemesis.

The band donated proceeds from the show, an annual tradition held the day before the Big Game, to the "Bo Schembechler: Heart of a Champion Fund," sponsored by the UM Cardiovascular Center.

"We are men of our word. We are men of honor," said Biafra by phone Tuesday. "No matter what the liberal Wolverine media may lie about us, the OSU sports fan is the most honorable and moral in all of sports."

Some would call this sudden burst of good sportsmanship "coddling." Others agree that comically naming a band after a rival who is actually dead is in bad taste.

"We always hated Bo the wolverine, but we loved the Bo the man," Biafra added.

The name change has done nothing to quell the pro-Bucks fire that burns deep withing Biafra - he was as intense and interesting as ever calling from his home - but the decision to adopt a new moniker may bring some legal hassles.

During their most recent appearance in Columbus, the band recorded its first live album, which they planned to call Under a Scarlet Red Sky. It was under contract to be released under the name Dead Schembechlers, and Biafra mentioned that its release may be delayed.

"We may sit on it," he said. "We're also discussing a possible name change to Exile on High Street."

Live album or not, Biafra promised new and exciting things ahead.

"Plans are also afoot for our first appearance in Ann Arbor," he said. "We will be performing behind a wall of sand bags and razor wire with armed guards. We'll be arriving in an armored car. It may be the most exciting rock concert in the history of mankind."