Why John Ross is more emo than me

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

As you can see over at The Riot Act, John Ross has started a flame campaign attempting to frame me as "emo." While I would normally not participate in such mud-slinging, that freaky graphic of me is too much. Therefore, I present some startling evidence as to why Mr. Ross is "emotional" one.

--For starters, he makes a big deal about my long, black hair without mentioning that his is just as lengthy and just as black. In fact, my hair has already started to go grey, so his hair is darker than mine.

--Mr. Ross also commented on my laid-back attire but failed to note that I have most likely worn a tie to the office more times than he has since I started working here. And not paired with Chuck Taylors.

--Speaking of which, Mr. Ross has owned Chuck Taylors--I have not.

--Ross's horn-rimmed glasses clearly land him in the Rivers Cuomo camp. My sophisticated frames might make me look like an intellectual, but certainly not an emo kid.

--Contrary to the libelous rendering of me that Mr. Ross posted, I've never even considered getting a tattoo. He has considered it.

--The "tight black T-shirt" I was wearing yesterday was actually a polo shirt. From The Gap. In fact, I don't know if I have any thrift store purchases in my current wardrobe. And I've never worn an ironic T-shirt in my life, something I'm willing to bet Mr. Ross can't say.

--His precious website lists a propensity for belt buckles as an emo qualifier. I own zero novelty belt buckles, a feat Mr. Ross likely cannot truthfully replicate.

Clearly, Mr. Ross's barbs and accusations are misguided.