Wow, Shaq really sucks at conducting

Staff Writer
Columbus Alive

We learn so many things in college that there is never a practical application for. It even feels like a waste of money sometimes. But then Shaquille O'Neal tries to conduct the Boston Pops Orchestra, and poof! Justification for those years of conducting courses. Let me quickly explain to you how badly Shaq sucked at attempting this task.

The primary job of a conductor is to make sure that the orchestra's musicians can play together. The musicians have to know exactly when to start playing as well as what speed the music will be. If you watch any good conductor, they'll give a preparatory beat that signals that info to the musicians. Watch Shaq's preparatory beat. Yep. He doesn't give one.

The rest of the "Sleigh Ride" song (one of the easiest things possible to conduct) continues with Shaq simply following the musicians. That's cheating, Shaq! Good thing the Boston Pops has some of the best musicians in the world, otherwise that Christmas tune would have sounded like the squawking of a sixth-grade band.

Does Shaq always do so poorly at his attempts at other people's vocations? Sheesh. I can only assume his reality show, "Shaq Vs.," is a complete joke.